Top 10 Dale Carnegie's Quotes

Top 10 Dale Carnegie's Quotes

1. “You can’t win an argument. If you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.” – Dale Carnegie

2. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

3. “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” – Dale Carnegie

4. “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie

5. “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” – Dale Carnegie

6. “Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

7. “Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of importance and arouse resentment.” – Dale Carnegie

8. “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.” – Dale Carnegie

9. “Winning friends begins with friendliness.” – Dale Carnegie

10. “Remember a name and call it easily and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment.” – Dale Carnegie

1. How to win yourself

“He that can have patience can have what he will”

                                                                                            –Benjamin Franklin

Our mother world has a total human population of 9 billion, this includes 30%  of old Peoples and 20% of kids, remaining 50% are adults of both genders. Among this 50% of adult humans many of them have a deep penetrating doubt on their mind about their own will power. 

Constantly there was a question wandering on their mind, and that question pop up on every single day during their work in office, while playing with their kids, while facing any difficult period, while coming across an emotional situation or even While carrying out their usual work day by day. 

They don’t know the answer for that question and they are leading their life with that question,

Why can’t I able to what i can be ?

Simply. Why i cant able to achieve  what i have planned?

More simply. i cant able to execute or attain, as i planned?

Our religion and philosophers preached us that every person in this universe is unique and he is capable to attain what he wants regardless of his circumstances.  As the truth is as above, but still we hear people saying

How can I fix my son’s struggle with his studies?

How can i attain a decent position in this society?

How can i generate more income? And so on..,

Mr “X” took a new year resolution as to reduce his weight 5 kg this year.
Mrs. “Y” planned to start a new business to earn more money for their financial needs.
Mr. “Z” decided to quit smoking habit for his health and family benefits.

But they can’t able to execute their plan. They follow their diet or plan for 1 week or 10 days and forget. ( if you are not like that this article is not for you).

Those above examples not only suits to Mr.x y and z but also to us, there are so many Mr. x y and z in this world including us.

There are more number of center for motivation and change our lives, business motivation, bodybuilding motivation, all the purpose of those are to re harness our thoughts and push us to success.

Arnold Schwarzenegger started weight lifting at 15 years old. He won the Mr. Universe title at the age of 20 and went ahead to win the Mr. Olympia challenge seven times, remaining a noticeable nearness in lifting weights and he composed many books and articles on the motivation. There is a term called "Arnold Schwarzenegger motivation". I am a big fan of him.

There are lots of books available in book stores like "How to win a business, how to think positively? How to make more money? How to win relationship? How to reduce weight? How to develop your personality" and so on.  And of course we have read that books many times and thought from tomorrow that everything will change. But is it changed? Did we get what we needed?

If we really need to find a solution for this question, We have to answer it from our heart. Apart from some people many lack something or some qualities or characters, which not allowing them to attain or to achieve what they expected, what they planned. But what is that set of qualities lacking inside them to not allowing them to attain or execute as they planned?

Assume. You planned to wake up tomorrow early morning for jogging and you are done with what you have planned and reduced your weight without mental struggle.

You planned to start business for more financial income and you are done with that. Wow!!

You planned to develop your personality and you are done with that.
This is as simple as whatever you plan you are achieving that position without inner struggling.

How sweet  :-) ☺

Is that possible?  Can i get what i need? Am i able to attain what i have planned?

The big answer is YES.

Now the good news is you can attain or achieve whatever u want regardless of your circumstances, you may be poor, in financial disaster, with broken heart or whatever, if you follow the chapters in this article you can be what you can be. 

This article will bridge the gap between your desire and reality. 

This is all about making your character, it explains the required qualities you needed chapter by chapter and by step by step procedure. But it required your full attention chapter by chapter and i have added small stories to fully understand the moral qualities needed.

Now you are in the right path of life by forming your character to attain what you want.

Just follow the chapters and you are done.

Happy reading 

Chapter 1 : Being ego less

Chapter 2 : Emptying your cup

Chapter 3 : Know yourself

Chapter 4 : Erasing impressions

Chapter 5 : Forming constraints

Chapter 6 : Building positive attitude

START here with " Being Ego less "

Empty your cup

EMPTYING YOUR CUP

“Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality.”                                                                                                      ~ Bruce Lee

A small Zen story "A Cup of Tea" goes on like this

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”
“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

When i was 19 i attended a personality development course in India, it was based on NLP, there i first heard the above Zen story. Can you able to understand the core information inside this story? The learning behind the story is, we have to be in a student mentality (being ego less) if need to learn a new idea or skill. We humans experience lots of situations and actions day by day since from our childhood which form impressions on our mind and makes us to form a final opinion, conclusion. This past experience conclusions, opinions, ideas in our mind wont allow us to accept a new idea, skill or learning. Its very difficult to observe or gain a new idea when your mind is full of your own opinions.

There is also a another quote,

"Its difficult to teach an old dog new tricks". The science behind these quotes are based on the tricky action by the mind. The above quote might have been told as its impossible to teach an old dog new tricks, but its not impossible its difficult, so the hidden truth is that we can change our mind to student mentality state which allow us to receive more information. Statistics shows that kids learn faster than the adults, Many experiments were done on the above topic and finally they conclude kids learn faster than adults.

The medical science behind this is When Compared to adults, children have more nerve cells that can actively create new connections. This is why kids can learn new languages, learn to play an instrument, or pick up a new sport more easily than adults can. Its true, don’t forget, the more we empty our mind the more we have the possibility to learn, small child will learn faster than anyone.

Letting the ego down and emptying your mind these both activities makes you humble. There is a hidden secret behind the humble behavior which makes our mind open to receive as much as you can.

Now i strongly recommend you to know and understand the ego and empty your mind. Unless you are clear with this you wont gain the totality of the character which is required for you to develop. I suggest to carryon surfing in the internet about ego where you can find lot of quotes, findings moral stories and spiritual discussion. Please go thru that and conclude yourself about the term ego.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
                             ~ Bruce Lee

The best method to implement being ego less and emptying your mind is done by performing meditation. This simple meditation will give you more power to be ego less and emptying your mind.

Simple Exercise: Meditation

Below is the Step by step procedure for practicing meditation you can practice it anywhere anytime but the best place is silent environment and best time is early morning.

1. Sit calmly and take a deep breath.
2. Avoid thinking on outside happenings.
3. Concentrate on your exercise and breath.
4. Slowly Inhale fresh air for 10 Sec.
5. Hold your breath for 10 Sec.
6. Exhale air slowly for 10 Sec.
7. Do this as much time as you can.

Read "Know Yourself"

Being ego less

BEING EGO LESS

More the knowledge lesser the ego, more the ego lesser the knowledge                                                                                           ~Albert Einstein

As for as this world is concerned it contains many kinds of children in their character. Some may be good at studying, some may be best in playing and some others may be bad at speaking etc.., those characters are formed by their surrounded environments, peoples and so on. 
And the thing is, if we really want to change our character we have to accept our positives and negatives wholeheartedly. Usually our ego wont allow us to accept our negatives.

Our history tells, We humans are in this earth far the past 200000 years and human evolution took out in 546 BC. We humans crossed many evolution comparing to other species in this planet. we humans are struggled and developed our self from our stage and already proved our success. 

This evolution are triggered by the desire of each and every spices of their own, One of the great author Napoleon hill told " The starting point of all achievement is desire". BIBLE says (Proverbs 13:19) "The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul" . Your Success is measured by the strength of your desire and the size of your dream, every human in this planet have his own rights to have a desire for what he want, his requirement may be a fundamental need or it may be a secondary need, but he has the right to attain his desire. 

Most of the religions in this world command us to ASK and you will get it. This desire is an emotional element which starts from their own ego, There is a strong bonding relationship between one's desire and his ego.

Most of the achievers and spiritual leaders in the world has commented on the word "EGO", Dalai lama once told "Ego is the number one enemy of compassion.” If you search in the dictionary the basic definition says "the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity." Which is very difficult to understand. Simply ego is defined as the view that a person has of himself, One looks him in the way as he is. The simple definition of ego is the person view that a person has of himself. It is the way that you look at yourself.

 An example of ego is thinking you are the healthiest person on this planet. This ego within each of us, wont allow us to see the situations as it is, it forms as layer over our sight and show the understandings differently or lead us to take different not required decisions and conclusions.

A Young Couple Moves Into A New Neighborhood. The Next Morning, While They Are Eating Breakfast, The Young Woman Sees Her Neighbor Hang The Wash Outside.
That Laundry Is Not Very Clean, She Said, She Doesn't Know How To Wash Correctly. Perhaps She Needs Better Laundry Soap.

Her Husband Looked On, But Remained Silent. Every Time Her Neighbor Would Hang Her Wash To Dry, The Young Woman Would Make The Same Comments.
About One Month Later, The Woman Was Surprised To See A Nice Clean Wash On The Line And Said To Her Husband: "Look! She Has Learned How To Wash Correctly. I Wonder Who Taught Her This."
The Husband Said: "I Got Up Early This Morning And Cleaned Our Windows!"

Everyman in this universe has his own ego, on which he stands upon, a king has his ego on which, he is a king and a street beggar has his ego as a smartest beggar or as a worst beggar. Leaders call this ego as a serpent a snake. Thus this ego wont allow us to see the situations as it is and leads us to improperor conclusions. There is a nice story which explains how can his ego kills himself,

There Was Once A Learned Scientist..

After A Lot Of Practice And Efforts, He Developed A Formula And Learned The Art Of Reproducing Himself. He Did It So Perfectly That It Was Impossible To Tell The Reproduction From The Original.

One Day While Doing His Research, He Realized That The Angel Of Death Was Searching For Him. In Order To Remain Immortal He Reproduced A Dozen Copies Of Himself. The Reproduction Was So Meticulous That All Of Them Looked Exactly Like Him. Now When This Angel Of Death Came Down, He Was At A Loss To Know Which Of The Thirteen Before Him Was The Original Scientist, And Confused, He Left Them All Alone And Returned Back To Heaven.

But, Not For Long, For Being An Expert In Human Nature, The Angel Came Up With A Clever Idea. He Said To The Scientist Addressing All Thirteen Of Them, "Sir, You Must Be A Genius To Have Succeeded In Making Such Perfect Reproduction Formula Of Yourself. However, I Have Discovered A Flaw In Your Work, Just One Tiny Little Flaw."
The Scientist Immediately Jumped Out And Shouted, Impossible! Where Is The Flaw?" "Right Here" Said The Angel, As He Picked Up The Scientist From Among The Reproductions And Carried Him Off.

Like this the story goes on, since he couldn’t control his pride he lost his life.

The purpose of this two small stories is to inform you about the ego and its play. The learning here is to understand the play of ego and its result on the situation. So the best thing what we have to follow initially to learn or perform a new task is to be egoless. It will be somewhat difficult to be egoless at first but we have to practice it and be egoless. Nouman ali khan told "if someone corrects you, and you feel offended, then you have a ego problem.

And now, how to be ego less ?

Read "Empty your Cup"

Building Positive Attitude

BUILDING POSITIVE ATTITUDE

In villages farmer performs following steps for harvesting a new desired crop.

• Crop selection

• Land Preparation

• Seed Sowing

• Irrigation

• Fertilizing

• Harvesting

Like above a man has to perform and implement set of activities inside his mind, to cultivate a desired habit.

New habit or activity to implement ( crop selection )
Preparing mind to implement new habit or activity ( land preparation )
Forming constraints and self control ( seed sowing )
Forming better attitude ( irrigation and fertilizing )
Implementing a new habit or activity ( Harvesting )

I strongly recommend to step "prepare your mind" for performing a new activity, since its very difficult to harvest a new crop without performing land preparation. Like irrigation and fertilizing its required to form a better attitude to reap a new habit.

Below is a simple story which teach us the value of best principles.
Reap what you sow (Past)
Sow good for better tomorrow

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about father,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl! When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work .
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled

Think positive ( Present ) All are good

We all knew the story of David and goliath. David is small as compare to goliath and faced a situation to fight with the goliath. Everybody thought the David is as small as to win the huge goliath but David thought that the goliath is as huge as to miss the target and remaining is the story.

Up to god there is no positive or bad situations, every situations is a mixture of negative and positive possibilities. If u grab the positive possibility u win and u grab negative u lose, this is the theory of god. So whatever had happened in your life grap the positive and win. This life is yours and god made you to win.

Subconscious minds power. ( future)

The subconscious mind have the power of forming our future. If we expect the good the nature will provide you good and if we expect bad nature will give you bad and sorrow. So make your mind as like a flower garden and form a better future.

But don’t forget "You are the one to make your life best"

All the best.

Building motivation & self discipline

FORMING CONSTRAINTS

Based on the previous chapters which you have gone thru, now you have identified your own positive and negative habits. Now write below some activities which you always love to do, its like while performing those activity you wont get bored. You will be eager to perform those activity, It may be eating, playing, reading, singing, listening to music, watching television, chatting, surfing net etc.., it may be any activity you eager to do. List out such activities which you like to do as priority. Like below

1. Listening music
2. Watching films
3. Playing chess etc..,

Please follow as below simple steps

1. Start to perform one activity (which you love to do) from next day on a same time schedule everyday.

If u love listening music, start doing that from tomorrow on a time schedule say at 7.00am. Everyday at 7.00 Am start to listen music, there is no end constrains, listen to it till you like it, till you have any other work. It may be 10 mts 30 Mts or even 1 hour.

2. After a week, close the activity within a time constrain.
Everyday 7.00 am to 7.30 am - listening music.
3. Like above implement a time schedule for all your activities you love and perform.

4. Continue all your activities you love to perform in a time schedule for a month. Then insert the activity which you have to perform (which you feel difficult to do) in between and implement the same for all the activities.

Above is a simple strategy to implement self-control and discipline within us. The above actions will make your mind free and you learned to perform self control. Self control and discipline play a vital role for achieving whatever we want. By implementing this self control we can execute what we have planned. Almost all religion and culture tells us to maintain discipline and self control. For example fasting and timing prayers are some of the techniques to implement the self-control over our self.

To develop and strengthen our powers of self-control, so that we can resist wrong desires and bad habits, and therefore “guard against evil” (extract no. 1). In fasting, by refraining from the natural human urges to satisfy one’s appetite, we are exercising our ability of self-restraint, so that we can then apply it to our everyday life to bring about self-improvement.

Read "Building Positive attitude"

Changing your activity & thoughts

ERASING IMPRESSIONS

Humans have their own way to approach a situation on their life, he or she has his or her own views on this society, environment, persons, world etc..,they have their own path and process to deal with a situation. Having those decisions and way of approach in their mind they move with this world and proceed with the peoples, situations and society. 

Basically this way of approach and views over society, etc are based on from their childhood brought ups and his surroundings environment. lot many other factors are there but its more based on his parents nature and the environment he deal with.

Let us see a small situation handled by two different people say for example person A and person B. Both of them A and B need a seat in a school to join his son.

Person A went to the admin of the school, asked about the procedure, he surfed the net to know the details and gathered the procedure for admission. Then he went thru all the formalities conducted by the school management and cleared the tests and finally he got the seat for his son.

Person B spoke to his friend, whose son is already studying in the same school and gathered all the details about admin. Then he moved with one of his friend in his local club who is a friend of head of the school. Having that reference he got admission for his son. Likewise person C can approach a same situation in different manner. It all depends on a person and his views over this peoples society and idea of approaching, conclusions about the morals and ethics etc..,

10 years before i saw a film who am i leaded by one of my favorite actor Jackie Chan, on that film the lead character was struggling to find who he is, he forgot all his past memories and he don’t know who he is , he don’t know what he already knew, what he likes, dislikes, what he loves,etc he cant able to get back all his old memories. 
On that film it was happened accidentally to the lead actor, but here we have to do that incidentally, we just need to forget all our old memories and ideas, its done by erasing impressions, Erasing impressions is a process of forgetting or erasing all your beliefs, habits, opinions, your social view, the way of approach on a situation etc., what you already have. 
Its like vacating your home or room, like formatting the system deleting all written programs changing your habits and thoughts. Erasing the impressions can be done by following small and simple below activities

Implementing plan B :

The purpose of these activities are to change your way of thinking to alter the ideology which you already have. Start to think boundless be active and don’t fit to any kind of ideology. Break the rules, be proactive and assertive. But don’t forget there should be moral and ethics in every activity one should not breach it at any point of time

1. Change the daily route on which you are travelling 2. Change your daily routine schedule.
3. Change your meals timing plan
4. Change your way of approach with peoples
5. Stand apart from specific religion and culture but follow ethics. 6. Memorize small things don’t depend on technology. 7. Break time rules, avoid time boundaries

If you face difficulty to implement above points, Some techniques are there to make it.
Be on present moment always.
Be slow and steady. Then gradually increase the speed of your activities.

There is the story of a young martial arts student who was under the tutelage of a famous master.

One day, the master was watching a practice session in the courtyard. He realized that the presence of the other students was interfering with the young man’s attempts to perfect his technique.

The master could sense the young man’s frustration. He went up to the young man and tapped him on his shoulder.
“What’s the problem?” he inquired.
“I don’t know”, said the youth, with a strained expression.
“No matter how much I try, I am unable to execute the moves properly”.
“Before you can master technique, you must understand harmony. Come with me, I will explain”, replied the master.

The teacher and student left the building and walked some distance into the woods until they came upon a stream. The master stood silently on the bank for several moments. Then he spoke.

“Look at the stream,” he said. “There are rocks in its way. Does it slam into them out of frustration? It simply flows over and around them and moves on! Be like the water and you will know what harmony is.”

The young man took the master’s advice to heart. Soon, he was barely noticing the other students around him. Nothing could come in his way of executing the most perfect moves.

Read " Forming Constraints"

Know yourself (Google)

KNOW YOURSELF

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
                                                                    - Aristotle

One has to know himself first for better living. Why? Why we need to know our self first?

We all know that man is a social animal, the only thing which shows us apart from animal is our sixth sense, other than that that he is simply a animal. Man, we, our thinking, conclusions and decisions about to take or already taken are based on our social environment basically where we are from. 
If you are surrounded by good peoples its obvious that you think that all persons in this world are good and your actions will be based on that and if you are constantly going thru the bad or negative situations its very difficult to retain a good attitude. We are pure when we born and its difficult to retain that purity, This society and environment where we are surrounded made us contaminated. 
It filled our mind with bad conclusions poor decisions, if we are surrounded by better environment its not an issue but if we are from negative environment then it leads to the purpose of knowing yourself first.

At present you may be a average earning person, or a businessman, a mom, a caterer or a sweeper, whomever you might be, the first think what we have to do is knowing our self first. Knowing yourself means knowing your character, knowing your personality your positive and negative points. For this we shall go thru a simple below exercise. Before that you have to be ego less and empty your mind.

I ask you to have a brief recap of your past life from your childhood as you remember. You have to start from that point where you remember it may be at the age of 4, or 3 Or even 2. You just start to rewind your past childhood and end up to till date. It may take 2 Or 3 days to gather your memories, OK take your own time but don’t neglect it, it helps us to come to an idea of who you are and what you have to do it further. After you gone thru,

I request you to answer the below simple questions

What is my name ?
What is my education ?
What is my occupation ?

Above are some basic questions which helps you to know about yourself, and you can ask yourself n number of questions to come to know about yourself (e.g. Like. How was my memory power? How i was in studies? How was i in implementing a plan? Am i a ethical good person? What is my conclusion about ethics this society and life etc..,)
After you gone thru those questions now you come to a conclusions about yourself, please right about yourself whatever you found about you. And in the end mention your positive points and negative points.

Below is an small example

I am Tod. I have completed my engineering now I am searching for a good job. Basically I am a honest good person i don’t tell lie, i obey rules of society, i like to be alone. I hate to do exercises hate to wake up early morning, I like friendships and maintain relationships. I like to eat junk foods and spicy non veg foods. I feel good when i read self help books. I bored of watching TV. I like girls. I like my mom dad and bro. I like travelling alone and i am good at catering. I don’t have patience i get angry immediately when some provoke me. I am shy and I am lazy. For me its difficult to implement as i planned. I am good at math’s and poor in languages subject, i like dogs, i speak less and so on..,

Now Answer below questions

How is my attitude?
What are my positive pluspoints?
What are my negative points to be changed?
What is my last decision about my life, which i cant able to attain? ( It may be like, i decided to spend time with my kid/ to start business/ should not fight with my wife/ to raise income. Etc..,)
Why i cant able to attain my wish ( it may be like due to laziness, busy with other works etc..)

By exploring as above we will come to knew well about us, which helps us to understand our self first.

Read "Erasing Impressions"